The top of the mornin' to ye.

I'm Olly. Or, at least, that's what my friend, I mean, my owner calls me although my real name is All Gold V. Not that I' the kind to be bragging but I'm your real, genuine thing. I'm your 100-per-cent Irish Sports horse. Chestnut, as ye can see. 17.3 going on 18 hands.Born and bred in God's own country, Naas, Co Kildare.

I'm 11 years old. Me ole man was Kildalton Gold. Me ole lady, Concerto. Glory be to God I can trace me ancestors back to the great Pegasus himself. I tell ye I've more blue blood in me than the whole College of Cardinals in Rome itself.

Before I came down south I was lined up for ye grand Horse of the Year Show. I' won God knows how many kitchen doors worth of prizes, cups and rosettes. Wasn't I your perfect example of an Irish Show Hunter! But then I suddenly got a curb on one of me back legs. My old owner, the ejit, then decides that he wants the Horse of the Frigging Year Show more than he wants me.

Not that I'm worried. I'm now in horsey heaven. I'm at Jevington Place Stables, the best livery yard on the South Downs. But I can't be standing around here chatting with you all day. 'Tis my friend. I can hear him coming.